Every time I ask my students about their goals for the next ten years, they put starting a family and raising happy children at the top of their priority list. Only – until now there wasn’t much known about what actually makes children happy. More toys, better video games, a bigger house and/or garden, parents who would stay together, good grades, sports……?Psychologists at the University of British Columbia in Canada are saying all of the above doesn’t count much when it comes to happiness in children.

According to the answers of more than 300 children aged 9 to 12, the answer to the quest for happiness is Spirituality.

Children, who got high happiness marks by their parents and teachers, gave high importance ratings for statements like “I believe that a higher power watches over me” or “developing meaning in my life”.

Spirituality is in the study defined as having an inner-belief system and is not the same as religion. Consequently, attending church had no bearing for the happiness level of the children in the study.

Other factors that influenced the level of happiness in children have been social activities, sports and temperament.

Many psychologists today believe that temperament is the inborn part of personality, and for example being an optimist or a pessimist is a factor of temperament. Simplified, whether you view a glass as half full or half empty is inherited to a certain extent.

Still, even if someone is born as pessimist, it’s possible to modify the outlook:

Ask yourself (or ask your child) at bedtime what positive things happened during the day and what you are grateful for. Research shows that focusing on the positive will make you happier over time and is good for your health. Read on: http://www.coach4u.net/blog/2-steps-happiness.html

While I’m researching and working on my planned e-book, this story made recently headlines: The secret to happiness is giving away your money.

It was already known, based on earlier studies, that getting more money is not doing much for most people’s happiness, provided they are not extremely poor. Just consider how much money we have today and how much money our parents or grandparents had. Earlier generations often struggled just to get enough food on the dinner table so that nobody would have to go to bed hungry. Today, most of us take food for guaranteed, also cell-phones, cable TV and computers. Well, are we happier than our parents and grandparents? We aren’t, and now we may have an answer why:

According to the new study, recently published in the journal Science, how people spend their money is at least as important as how much money they make.

A survey of 632 Americans showed that those, who gave more money to charities or spent it on friends and relatives reported higher levels of happiness. In another survey 16 employees of a Boston company were polled about their happiness before and after they received fat bonuses and also here, the researchers found a correlation between happiness and the amount of money people spent on others.

In an experiment, 46 students at the University of British Columbia received envelopes with $5 or $20. The students were told to either spend the money on themselves or on other people. The group that were told to spend it on others, either by donating it or to buy someone a gift, felt happier when they were polled again than those, who could spend it for themselves, regardless whether they could spent $ 5 or $20.

The researchers suggest now that governments may consider promoting philanthropy just to increase their citizens’ happiness. My personal suggestion is of course different: Get a life coach and discover the purpose of your life. Take it from there to discover what would make YOU happy.