If you belong to the few lucky ones, who still have some extra cash to spend, don’t “waste” it on the newest gadgets. Instead, buy yourself happiness. You may need it in a tough time like now.

“One can’t buy happiness”, I hear you saying. Well, Ryan Howell, assistant professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, begs to differ. He believes that if you spend your money right you can increase your happiness.

The trick is not to “waste” your money on material things. Instead, buy yourself experiences, such as a meal out, going to the theater or to a baseball game.

Howell did a study with 154 people ages 19 to 50 and found that people feel more alive and inspired after they have made experiential purchases. They also appreciated the positive memories they were left with. An additional benefit was the social nature of those experiences, i.e. being together with other people and thus satisfying the need for social connectedness. Overall, buying experiences made people happier than buying stuff.

In conclusion, Howell suggests that his findings can also be applied to purchasing gifts for other people. If you give a certificate for a restaurant, for tennis lessons, or a spa visit, you will not only brighten the day for the person, but also create long lasting happy memories.

Christiane is psychologist and Life & Career coach.  She teaches Psychology at a College in the Greater Boston area. Visit her website at www.coach4u.net

 

How often are we reading it in these financially difficult times: Money can’t buy Happiness?

Well, it turns out; this may be true for women.  Men however, beg to differ.

 

Results of a global happiness survey from the Nielsen Company show that for men happiness and satisfaction with their financial situation are closely related.

 

A woman’s happiness depends more on the quality of her friendships and relationships with family and even with her boss and co-workers.  Thus, it seems, women find it easier to be happy in economically tough times:  In 48 of the 51 countries surveyed, women are happier than men and are also more optimistic about the future.

 

The global survey polled more than 28 000 people and asked about the contribution of a variety of factors to happiness.  As main factors emerged the personal financial situation, mental health, job/career and being satisfied with your partner.   

 

The study also showed that in different parts of the world some factors are more important than others: For Lithuanians and Indonesians money was far more important than for South Africans and Venezuelans. For people in Vietnam and Indonesia happiness depended on access to unbiased information (news, internet) and their sex life.  People in Switzerland and Finland depend more than people in other countries on physical health to be happy and for Australians mental health is a key factor for happiness. Americans need good relationships with co-workers, even more than good relationships with their own family.

 

Christiane is psychologist and Life & Career coach.  She teaches Psychology at a College in the Greater Boston area.  Visit her website at www.coach4u.net

Who doesn’t feel occasionally down, particularly during these long and cold winter months?

Researchers at Harvard and Princeton University may now have found a simple method to get the spirits up again: Do a rapid thinking exercise, for example list quickly all kinds of uses for a paperclip, generate a variety of problem-solving-ideas or solve a soduko as quickly as you can.

The researchers found that research participants felt more elated and creative after experiments with a variety of quick thinking tasks.

I found particularly interesting the explanation that the researchs offered: For one, they believe the improved mood may be related to an increase in the neurotransmitter dopamine, which in consequence increases feelings of pleasure. But the researchers offer also a different explanation: they say, many people believe that good mood and fast thinking are related like “If I’m in a good mood, I can think fast.” Now, if I find myself in the course of the exercise thinking fast, then the reverse must be true ” If I’m thinking fast, I must be in a good mood”.

Read more on Harvard’s website

 Christiane is a Life & Career coach, psychologist and college teacher. Her website is http://coach4u.net

Good news: the level of happiness is rising around the world. People are happier these days than 25 years ago. This is the result of a study published by the University of Michigan. The United States ranks 16^th on the list of 97 countries. Denmark seems to be the happiest nation in the world and Zimbabwe the unhappiest. Read more: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-06/uom-hir063008.php

Researchers at the University Of Leicester, England published last year a world map of subjective well-being. They came to almost the same result: Denmark received the top score for happiness. More: http://www.le.ac.uk/users/aw57/world/sample.html

Do you belong to the lucky ones who still can put in overtime? Well, as it turns out now, it may be good for your paycheck but not as good for your psyche.

According to a recently published study by Norway researchers, people who put in more than 40 work hours per week have a higher risk for anxiety and depression.

The researchers compared about 9,000 people, who work 40 hours or less with 1,350, who worked regularly overtime. “Results: Overtime workers of both genders had significantly higher anxiety and depression levels and higher prevalences of anxiety and depressive disorders compared with those working normal hours.” (Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine, http://www.joem.org/ )

According to the United States Department of Labor (http://www.bls.gov, )
full time worker spend just under 43 hours at work per week. In 2006, about 18 % of full time workers put in more than 50 hours per week. Currently, about 3 % of the workforce has a part time job because they can’t find a full time job or their companies cut the work hours because of the economic downturn and about 5 % of the workforce holds more than one job.

Children bring much joy to your life. Are you sure? Think again! According to Daniel Gilbert, Harvard university psychology professor, having children has a negative effect on marital satisfaction. It’s an illusion that children increase people’s happiness.

Gilbert , author of the book ‘Stumbling on happiness’ based his statement during a happiness conference in May in Sydney, Australia on several studies that are quoted in most developmental psychology textbooks: Many couples experience a dip in their marital satisfaction after the birth of their first child. Particularly at risk are those couples who married after a relatively short courtship, are not settled in their partnership yet and get a baby soon after marriage. If couples postpone having children until their careers are under way, work on their financial stability and further concentrate on building up a sense of “we-ness” , their marital satisfaction will be more resilient against the challenges of raising children.

The deepest point in marital satisfaction often comes when the kids enter adolescence. Having a grumpy and moody teenager at home puts a strain on parents’ happiness. Marital satisfaction returns when the kids leave for college.

What Gilbert didn’t say, or it was not reported by the media, is that later in life grown children and their kids, so the grandkids, become a main source for the mental well-being of the elderly. A study by Karen Fingerman showed that the majority of “relationships between parents and their adult children improve as parents transition to old age”
.”Generally, there was a feeling on both sides that this was as good as the relationship had been, and both sides felt appreciated and nurtured.” (Karen Fingerman on Purdue University, http://www.purdue.edu/uns/x/2007b/071126FingermanAge.html )

Every time I ask my students about their goals for the next ten years, they put starting a family and raising happy children at the top of their priority list. Only – until now there wasn’t much known about what actually makes children happy. More toys, better video games, a bigger house and/or garden, parents who would stay together, good grades, sports……?Psychologists at the University of British Columbia in Canada are saying all of the above doesn’t count much when it comes to happiness in children.

According to the answers of more than 300 children aged 9 to 12, the answer to the quest for happiness is Spirituality.

Children, who got high happiness marks by their parents and teachers, gave high importance ratings for statements like “I believe that a higher power watches over me” or “developing meaning in my life”.

Spirituality is in the study defined as having an inner-belief system and is not the same as religion. Consequently, attending church had no bearing for the happiness level of the children in the study.

Other factors that influenced the level of happiness in children have been social activities, sports and temperament.

Many psychologists today believe that temperament is the inborn part of personality, and for example being an optimist or a pessimist is a factor of temperament. Simplified, whether you view a glass as half full or half empty is inherited to a certain extent.

Still, even if someone is born as pessimist, it’s possible to modify the outlook:

Ask yourself (or ask your child) at bedtime what positive things happened during the day and what you are grateful for. Research shows that focusing on the positive will make you happier over time and is good for your health. Read on: http://www.coach4u.net/blog/2-steps-happiness.html

According to my teenage sons ‘it’s not cool to be old’- and of course, to them anyone over thirty looks suspiciously old.

What little do they know! They don’t know for example that according to a recently published study (Yang Yang, University of Chicago, 2008) older people are happier than younger people. This is because older people have learned to lower their expectations. They are more likely to be content with whatever they have achieved in life. The well-known psychologist Erik Erikson described already more than 50 years ago the main task of late adulthood as “coming to terms with one’s life”, and those who succeed will gain the feeling of integrity, which he described as feeling whole and complete.

Life satisfaction seems to be a factor of one’s perception: as lower the expectation, as higher the happiness. People over 65 don’t expect life to be perfect. They have learned to accept certain aches and pains as part of life, and in general, they develop a more positive attitude.

In another study, published about ten years ago, people over 65 reported more positive emotions and less negative emotions than their younger counterparts. Also this study came to the conclusion that the older you are the happier and more satisfied you should feel. (D. Mroczek & Ch. Kolarz, Fordham University, 1998).

It seems that we all should look forward to our golden years – and there is another good reason for it: Researchers at Yale University found out that people with a positive attitude toward aging live in average 7.5 years longer than those with negative stereotypes (Levy et. al., Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 83, No.2)

I’m working right now on an e-book about the general topic ‚Happiness‘and ‘How to improve one’s life?’ My plan is to publish the book here on this website in approximately three months. I don’t want to add another textbook or another self-help book to the growing collection of e-books about this topic. Rather, I’m planning a book that will guide the reader toward more clarity about own goals, wishes and needs.

I don’t believe that there is a general answer to the question “What is happiness?” For one person true happiness could come with raising children, for another it may come as result of mastering challenging tasks in a chosen profession, and for a third person happiness may be equal to making the world a better place to live in, or having a positive impact on the life of others.

Daniel Gilbert, Professor of Psychology at Harvard University, writes: “If we were to agree to reserve the word happiness to refer to that class of subjective emotional experiences that are vaguely described as enjoyable or pleasurable”…..”we might still wonder whether the happiness one gets from helping a little old lady across the street constitutes a different kind of emotional experience – bigger, better, deeper – than the happiness one gets from eating a slice of banana-cream pie.” (Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert, published by Vintage books, 2007, p. 41/42)

In my opinion, there is a fundamental difference. Happiness is not only about feeling good. If it would be, we won’t need to think about it. Why should we? Eating banana-cream pie would do the job. Kids think like that. They believe that having money will make you happy. However, countless of middle aged professionals, exchanging their well paying job for cheese-making farms know otherwise. Happiness involves fulfilling your own personal needs.

Now, the question many people can’t answer is: What are these needs? What is it that I must have, do, accomplish, or experience during my time on this earth so that I will feel complete at the end of my journey? I believe, knowing the answer to this question provides the foundation for finding happiness.

Gilbert also writes that “the human being is the only animal that thinks about the future” (p.4). He believes that thinking about the future contributes to our stumbling on happiness, because we must decide here and now what we might enjoy and want in future and this is where we fail.

I would like to reword his thought; the human being is the only animal that expects that there is more to life than mere survival as a race.

Would we be happier if we had lower expectations?

Money, money, money – that’s all what counts with respect to job satisfaction. Are you sure? Think again.

My students in my Psychology in Business and Industry class at the college, where I’m teaching believed like many other people at first that money is the main motivator that accounts for their job satisfaction. A few minutes later they had proven themselves wrong.

I had asked what makes a job satisfying, and they quickly came up with many aspects, not only pay: The environment, clean facilities, good benefits, competent bosses, nice coworkers, and flex-time, to name a few. Then I asked to rank those points, and “pay’’ easily won the top spot. Some objected and were saying, they wouldn’t take any job just because of a high salary. The majority, however, stayed with their assessment: As long as the job is “halfway decent”, a good pay would make the difference between job-happiness and job-frustration.

My next question was about the reasons, why they had been unhappy in previous jobs and quit. Surprisingly, it turned out almost nobody had ever quit about money. Reasons have been a boss, who was micro-managing, not enough appreciation or recognition of hard work, issues with co-workers, malfunctioning equipment and safety concerns, boring work or not getting to do the work they have been hired for. They had quit because they have been either unhappy with the work environment and the climate at the workplace or with the work itself.

In the end, they all agreed that there are apparently more important factors for job satisfaction than money. For some, the job fulfills their need for communication and relationships with other people. Consequently, nice bosses and co-workers are most important factors.  Others love challenges and opportunities to grow. Therefore, they feel happier in jobs that offer responsibilities, independence, control over the work, and stimulation.

Obviously, People have different needs. Since most of us spend more time at work than with family and friends, it’s all the more important to clarify the own needs. A Life Coach will not only help you with this; a Life Coach will also assist you in finding the perfect job for you that fits to your needs. Read: What will I get from coaching?

Here is an exercise that gives an idea, how a life coach may work with you:

Think of a job that you liked and of one, where you quit because you couldn’t stand it there. Why was the first a good job and the second a bad job?