“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” – Henry Ford (American Industrialist,, 1863-1947)

I love this quote because for me it’s a perfect spot on description of Life coaching: Helping people to realize that they are stuck because they took their eyes of the goal and then got lost. The next step in life coaching then is to assist with getting unstuck by reconnecting with life goals.

Some people find it easy to always stay focused on their goals. These are the lucky few. Most people get sidetracked at some point in their lives, others take it day by day without having a bigger goal and a third group doesn’t know, what and where to start because the only things, they see, are obstacles.

Unfortunately, my youngest son belongs to the latter group. Whenever he has to tackle a new project, he starts by telling us why he can’t do it. He lists all the hindrances, difficulties and obstacles he can think of and he can be very convincing that the particular project, whatever it is, is impossible to realize.

Behind all that is fear. He feels overwhelmed because the task at hand seems to be complex, unclear, uncontrollable and unmanageable. Some psychologists believe that a pessimistic approach to the world may be part of the inborn temperament. Regardless of the cause, we have learned that there is a way to work with him.

We must break up any complex task in sub goals and provide a specific time frame for each sub goal. As long as he stays focused on each step (and forgets the big goal) he can move onward.

But don’t say to him “A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step” (Chinese proverb). As soon as he remembers that each successfully mastered step is just that, a step toward the big goal, he feels overwhelmed again. To him, his successes suddenly seem to be so small.

I hope that by growing up he will learn to understand what Henry Ford meant when he said:
“Life is a series of experiences, each of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.”

Struggling with weight loss, exercising more, eating healthier? Are you still holding on to your New Year’s resolutions, but just barely? Wait, before you give up. Signing up at stickK.com maybe the solution you have been looking for.

The website offers support for those of us with willpower issues when it comes to achieving our personal goals:
 

stickK is a web-based company that helps you achieve your personal goals through “Commitment Contracts.” You create a contract obliging you to achieve a specific goal within a specific time-frame. By doing so, you put your reputation at stake. You may also choose to wager money to give yourself added incentive to succeed. If you do succeed, you get your money back. If you fail, the money is forfeited to charity, or to one of several causes, or to a person of your choosing.( http://www.stickk.com/faq.php)

The contracts follow the principle of setting SMART goals (read about SMART goals: http://www.coach4u.net/blog/smart-goals.html)

To increase the incentive to reach your goal by putting up money, you can choose an Anti-Charity where your money would go to if you fail. An Anti-Charity is any organization/person whose goals you strongly oppose. Let’s say, if you feel strongly for Hillary, pledge your money for Obama or McCain, whoever is your least favorite candidate, and vice versa.

If you decide to put money at stake, your credit card will be charged for the full amount when you create the contract. The site also encourages its users to name a referee who acts as overseer and the site also offers the possibility to designate supporters.

Does it work and really increase your chances of achieving your goals? The website creators, two Yale professors and a student, of course say yes:
 

The Commitment Contract concept is grounded on two well-known principles of behavioral economics: (1) people don’t always do what they claim they want to do, and (2) incentives get people to do things.(http://www.stickk.com)

A few months ago, I wrote on this blog about a British research study about the success rate for New Year’s resolutions. (http://www.coach4u.net/blog/only-12-of-new-years-resolutions-successful.html). One result of the study has been that particularly women increase their chances of achieving goals by telling others about them. So, yes, stickK.com could be the solution for some people.

And if a public commitment contract, money at stake, referee and support network still are not enough, then – I believe – it would be really time for hiring a professional life & career coach like me; don’t you think?