Improving wellness by doing more exercise and eating better is a popular New Year’s resolution. However, by now – not even two weeks later – many people have  a hard time sticking to these goals or even gave already up. According to a study by Richard Wiseman in 2007, ultimately more than 80 % of the resolutions will fail.

My experience with my clients is that many people simply want too much and too fast without being able to incorporate necessary life style changes into their daily life. If you didn’t exercise for many years, don’t expect suddenly to spend five hours in the gym per week.

I was asked recently how it comes that I’m able to stick to my running regimen of 15 – 20 miles per week for two years now though I was never running before. Here is my answer:

After several failed attempts earlier, I did two things differently in 2010:

First, I started with a small step, just learning to run a half mile daily. I was in such a bad shape that this was difficult enough, however it took only a few minutes out of my daily schedule. I could afford these minutes and this way, I experienced at first the advantages of more exercise in the form of feeling better and being more energetic before I had the price to pay – giving up something that I did for fun to free up time for exercising. Once I got in better shape, I slowly increased the distance. The pounds started to come off when I was at about two miles per day. The weight loss was of course a big motivator and today I’m running in average a 5 K on most days of the week. I lost more than 30 pounds and I am in a better shape now than I was 20 years ago.  I’m sure had I started with a longer distance right away, I probably would not have made it.

The second reason why I’m still running is that I learned to incorporate the exercise into my daily life. It takes out 30 to 45 minutes every day, and to make this work, I started combining my errands with running. I do as much as possible local now and run to the post office, library, hair dresser, subway station etc., often carrying a small bag. I found out that it doesn’t take much more time than going by car because I can use a different route when running without having to stop at traffic lights, and of course at my destination, I don’t have to search for a parking spot. Being able to combine exercise with errands makes it much easier for me to stick to my close-to-20-miles-per- week- goal.

In summary, like many people, I also had failed in the past with my resolutions. Two points  made all the  difference in 2010: starting slow and finding a way to combine exercise with my day to day life .

Christiane Turnheim is life coach in private practice and psychologist instructor at a community college in the Boston area. You can reach her at ten.u4hcaocnull@enaitsirhc

There is something about a New Year that entices many people to make resolutions to change their lives for the better. They decide to break some habits, live healthier, do more exercise, lose weight, or reduce stress… Of course, you don’t need a New Year for making resolutions, and therefore the following recommendations apply also to goals you may start to pursue anytime throughout the year

What often happens when we start to work toward a goal is that for the first week or two, we manage to stick to our plan. The problems start as time goes on and ultimately, most of us end up back with the old habits and routines which we were trying to break.

One of the main reasons for giving up on the resolutions is simply that many people want too much too fast. Changing ingrained behaviors takes time and effort, and occasional setbacks are to be expected.  If you want major changes in your life – and losing 40 pounds for example or starting daily exercise will require big lifestyle changes – you will be more successful if you take it one step at a time.

Here are six tips that when followed will make success with (New Year’s) resolutions more likely:

1)      Don’t make too many resolutions– you will have more success when you focus on one at a time. If for example you have three things in your life you want to change, then make a priority list and start with the most important. A year is long,  and you can work through your list as the year progresses

2)      Find out the degree of commitment to your goal. How strongly do you wish for it? Ask yourself the following questions: On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is “not at all” and 10 is ”extremely”:

•  How important is it for you to change the particular habit/situation
• How confident are you that you can stick to necessary behavior changes
• How ready are you to actually start with the changes today and stick with them for …… weeks/ months

Only if you are really committed to your goal, you will have a true chance for success

3)      Don’t reach too high with your goal to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Instead take changes slowly, step by step. Behavior changes need time, often months or even years, to become part of the new YOU. If you never exercised before, you most likely won’t have the strength to exercise daily for an hour or two. If you always ordered take-out and rarely ate vegetables, you may miss your usual food too much and give up on the eat-healthier-plan.  

 Also, for many goals you must make changes in your daily schedule to carve out time for exercise or for cooking. I experienced this myself when I decided to exercise more about two years ago: I first started to run for only 10 minutes per day – actually I didn’t have breath for more – and then I slowly increased this time in one minutes increments.  After two months, I was at two miles five times per week, now – almost two years later and more than 30 pounds lighter, I’m running a 5k five to six times/week and occasionally, I’m running a six- miles- lap. If anyone had told me at the beginning that I would do this today, I would never have believed it and if this had been my plan from the start, for sure I would have given up.  

An additional perk is that by starting slow you can enjoy more successes along your way. There is something to celebrate and to be proud of each time when you accomplish a step and then reach higher for the next goal. Nothing is more motivating than success.

4)      When setting goals follow the SMART goals rules, which say that a goal should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. For more about these rules, read my blog about SMART goals.

5)      Last but for sure not least: Be patient with setbacks. They are normal occurrences and actually to be expected. View setbacks as learning experiences, not failures. From a setback you can learn what to do differently. If you relapse into old behaviors, ask yourself: What worked for a while? What is the part that is not working so well? What kind of adjustments would help? Did something happen that you didn’t anticipate? What triggered the slip? Was this a sudden stumbling, or was this gradually building up? What would help to be better prepared next time? In regards to your action plan how to achieve your goal, what do you really like about the plan, what do you dislike? How can you change the plan to make it work better for you?

6)    Work with a life coach! Changing long standing habits and routines is not easy and it’s rarely a straightforward path. In fact, it could take up to two years until the new behavior turns into an automatic routine and the path to success may feel more like a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs.

That’s the reason why many people work with a life coach to accomplish a goal. Having someone at your side, who cares about you and your goal will increase your success rate.

As your life coach, I would design the SMART goal with you, define the action plan and then work with you through all the ups and downs, adjusting the action plan when necessary. For more information email me at ten.u4hcaocnull@enaitsirhc or call 781 777 2791.

Quick question: What happened to your New Year’s resolutions? It’s April, and therefore I think it’s reasonable to ask how many of your commitments survived that far into the year? If you are like most people,  it may be time to review and adjust your original goals and then start over. Who says that you have to put your resolutions on hold until  January 1st, 2011?

First step, find out why you gave up on your goals. Did you want to lose weight and were frustrated because you didn’t shed the pounds as fast as you had hoped? Was it too difficult to stop smoking altogether? Did bad weather or sick kids keep you from going to the gym regularly? Review what happenend and how you felt about your commitments as long as the memory is relatively fresh.

The main reason why many people don’t follow through with their New Year’s resolution is that they want too much too fast, and they strive for perfection. Any setbacks, and they give up. If you think that’s you, take another run on your goals – this time only slower and allow for slip-ups.

First, when setting your goal, follow the SMART rule: Define your goal in a way that it is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. For example, instead of “Eating healthier” commit to eating two pieces/servings of fruits and a salad and to drink one glass of orange juice daily for the next three months. At the end of each day, you will know whether you kept to your plan. If not, ask what kept you from achieving your daily goal and then make corrections.  If you discover for example that you would prefer salad or cooked vegetables over fruit, go for it.

Don’t be a perfectionist. If you didn’t eat any fruit before, it’s already progress to eat one piece of fruit, even if your plan called for two. Therefore, give yourself credit for it.  Don’t focus on how much you fell short of your goal, instead think positive and focus on how much you achieved.

Take babv steps. If you want to lose weight, don’t aim for losing ten pounds in a month. By aiming too high, you are setting yourself up for failure. Set a realistic goal, like losing one pound per week. If there is a week where you don’t even achieve this goal because of a birthday party or because the muffin in the coffe shop just was too tempting , see it as a learning experience. Temporary set backs are normal, so don’t beat yourself up about perceived weakness.

Tell other people about your goals, and write reminders or use motivating pictures and put them at places where you will see them often. 

And if you still struggle, hire a Life Coach to support you. Think of all the seemingly perfect celebrities you may admire. Most of them have personal trainers or nutritionists to help them stay on course. So, it’s nothing wrong with a little outside help. And if your goal is about your health, see it this way: a little money spend now on a Life Coach could save you later more money spend on doctor fees and hospital bills.

Written by Life Coach Christiane Turnheim. Visit her website at www.coach4u.net or email her ten.u4hcaocnull@enaitsirhc

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” – Henry Ford (American Industrialist,, 1863-1947)

I love this quote because for me it’s a perfect spot on description of Life coaching: Helping people to realize that they are stuck because they took their eyes of the goal and then got lost. The next step in life coaching then is to assist with getting unstuck by reconnecting with life goals.

Some people find it easy to always stay focused on their goals. These are the lucky few. Most people get sidetracked at some point in their lives, others take it day by day without having a bigger goal and a third group doesn’t know, what and where to start because the only things, they see, are obstacles.

Unfortunately, my youngest son belongs to the latter group. Whenever he has to tackle a new project, he starts by telling us why he can’t do it. He lists all the hindrances, difficulties and obstacles he can think of and he can be very convincing that the particular project, whatever it is, is impossible to realize.

Behind all that is fear. He feels overwhelmed because the task at hand seems to be complex, unclear, uncontrollable and unmanageable. Some psychologists believe that a pessimistic approach to the world may be part of the inborn temperament. Regardless of the cause, we have learned that there is a way to work with him.

We must break up any complex task in sub goals and provide a specific time frame for each sub goal. As long as he stays focused on each step (and forgets the big goal) he can move onward.

But don’t say to him “A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step” (Chinese proverb). As soon as he remembers that each successfully mastered step is just that, a step toward the big goal, he feels overwhelmed again. To him, his successes suddenly seem to be so small.

I hope that by growing up he will learn to understand what Henry Ford meant when he said:
“Life is a series of experiences, each of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.”